My life with the Sullivan boys

Merriam-Webster's definition of control is as follows: 2 a: to exercise restraining or directing influence over : regulate b: to have power over : rule c: to reduce the incidence or severity of especially to innocuous levels It's funny how obsessed the world is with the illusion of control. It's funny how the quest for control can make a person insane. It's also funny how out of control we really are. I can plan for things to happen. I can make sure I have the right supplies for any situation, I can tell everyone in my life what to do, when to do it and why to do it, but inevitably they will do it the way they want to do it. Tell a four-year old how to brush his teeth and he will insist on using a different toothbrush, putting the toothpaste on himself and most likely he will go to a different bathroom to get away from me. It's maddening! Prepare yourself for the daily occurrences in life and unexpected things will always happen. As I hosted Thanksgiving dinner this...

How's the diet going? It's going pretty smoothly in the last few weeks. Dermot's partial onset seizures are gone , now we are just fighting with the Tonic seizures. He still has around twenty of those a day. If you didn't know what to look for you wouldn't notice his seizures. His left arm goes straight up, his eyes look up and his body tenses for a few seconds, then he just resumes what he's doing. The brain is an big fat mystery! Dermot's neurologist wants to try just the diet for another month, then he might want to try a different drug for the tonic seizures. I'm not for that. Apparently the most common side effect for the new medication is sleeplessness. No thank you! We've had enough of that in the last 2-1/2 years. We discovered what meals Dermot will eat and have decided to sick to them. Here's a sample of what Dermot eats each day: Breakfast: 1/3 c. of whipped cream two tsp. ground beef 1/3 slice of american cheese two Tbsp. of butter 1/...

Ryan's sitting up all by himself, I'm so proud! I was going to go into some long essay about how important milestones are and how easily they come to most babies, but I won't. I'm just happy with my little Ryan today!

So, here's something I've noticed and it's a big fear of mine. I fear that Dermot's becoming invisible. Not really, but to the outside world, to the "nice" people we meet or already know. To friends and even some family members, it seems as though he's not there. The polite look and then quick look away, the attention that gets showered to Owen and Ryan is not the same for Dermot. Why is that, I wonder. I don't really wonder. I've been there myself. I was the one who shyed away from anyone different. Not on purpose, just out of fear. Not knowing how to treat a child or what to say, do I touch him? Can they hear me? Can they see me? I'll just pretend they're invisible. We've gone to several outings, the country club, Target, the Children's Museum and so on. I've started to notice. So, I want to tell you about Dermot. Dermot is a beautiful boy. He smiles, he laughs, he screams with delight. He has more grunts and moans than most b...