Monday, December 6, 2010
I felt that ache in my gut today, the one that never truly goes away. The one that tells me things are different. Through the years of dealing with this ache I've tried many ways to make it go away. Therapy, running, eating, spending money, cleaning until there's nothing else to clean, baking lots and lots of cookies. All of these are temporary fixes because I know this ache will always be with me. I remember describing it to my friends a few years ago, they looked puzzled by my explanation.The only thing I can do is accept it and keep going.
So tonight, I walked into his room to see why he was whining. He'd thrown up a bit on his pajama shirt, I proceeded to change his shirt and while I was doing it, he was smiling and purred in his own sort of way. He knows when I'm with him. I threw his pajama top in his laundry basket and climbed into bed with him. That was my gift. He knew it was me, I needed that today. I comforted him while he comforted me. And the cat, she's still sleeping with Dermot, keeping him warm.
Thanks, thanks for the gift and thanks for the cat.